Over the holiday season, I was able to rest and relax. Yes, REST and RELAX. One of the things I did to rest and relax, which I hardly have time for, was watch movies. I happened across a movie that I have since watched several times. Not only was it entertaining, it had a great script. The script put me into some deep thinking about mental health, addiction and how quickly we judge others. It asked questions like, ” Where did you get stuck?” You know like what event from your past have you not moved on from. “Is your pain all you see? What about when it goes unresolved, do you lose yourself?” I mean, if you are so caught up in the terrible thing(s) that made you feel pain, then you have no headspace to realize your purpose on this planet.

The script got deep, “What you choose to do “costs” others dearly.” That threw the “Gotta get mines you get yours,” mentality out the door. I mean really, it can’t all be about you.

Wonderful phrases popped up all over the place…”Are you going through life looking through the knothole of your pain?” Knothole… that must truly hurt. How vivid. “There isn’t a pain-free life!” They got that right. I believe everyone on the planet needs to hear that, “THERE ISN’T A PAIN-FREE LIFE”! And guess what . . . we are the masters of causing ourselves plenty pain.

Then it got to the real tough stuff, “What broke you?” That’s a hell of a question. I would guess most people would say, “I AM NOT BROKEN.” I really had to ponder that question I even googled the meaning and learned it means; having given up all hope. Interesting! Are you broken? Would you even know if you were? Look deep in your subconscious – What have you given up hope on?

What does any of this have to do with judgment? Glad you asked, at least in your mind. Before I answer that question let’s see what Google says, “A decision or opinion given after careful consideration.” Holy—- what a contradiction to how real life is. I say that because on average we all judge things and people not based on our knowledge but on our prejudices.

We all pass judgment every day as we go about our busy or lonely lives. It comes as natural as breathing air. Just a quick look at a person and we judge whether they are cute or ugly. If a person is too tall or too short. If someone is fat they must be greedy. If a woman wears a tight-fitting dress with the hem resting just under her rear-end we think she must be promiscuous or whorish, lol! If a man is handsome he must sleep around. If a black woman has long hair it has to be a weave. Yes, we judge people on how they look.

We also judge people based on what society has put in the news, magazines, social media and etc., Our silent judgments are as simple as when we hear a person that doesn’t speak proper English. We think they are illiterate. When we see homeless people we look down on them. When we learn that a person was incarcerated or committed a crime we label them all as bad people. With people that are struggling with addictions we think they cannot be trusted.

Here’s a quick true story of mines. I was meeting someone to rent an office space. An old white man with ragged clothes and an awful odor walked up to the door and let me in. I was surprised to find out that he was a millionaire. He had once lost everything during the depression. His response to life was to continue to live like he had nothing so he would never again feel the pain of losing anything. This trauma caused his mental health issues. I can go on and on but let’s go even further.

We also judge people because we think we are better than them. We judge and look down on others in order to make ourselves feel superior. We judge others to cover the flaws and sins that are within us. Yeah, that’s deep.

I started this article off by stating I was able to rest and relax over the holiday season. The movie I watched was “The Shack.” Check it out. Everyone may not get out of it what I did. I learned some time back that life’s lessons are appreciated with maturity.

The next time you make a mental judgment about someone or something pause a moment, and ask yourself “Why am I thinking like that”, and then ask yourself, “What does it matter?” It won’t take long for you to realize your being judgmental, as I mentioned we do it every day all day. by DeVine