Today, I feel like I’m falling apart. I feel like the weigh of everything in my life is falling down on me. As each new hour comes it seems it bring with it another cinder block issue that I feel I must immediately address. Otherwise I feel I will stop breathing.
Most days I’m able to handle it all. I’m able to breathe in these challenging moments easily handling this or that. That is, to do it now or place it on my to do list for another day. Today, the task list seems to be screaming, “It must be done NOW!” The demand poking in my brain.
This demand on my attention started out at daybreak. In reality, it was last night as I made plans for today and all that I wanted to conquer. That crushing feeling started the moment I begin rushing about trying to shovel my way through the many tasks I had assigned to myself. As I moved from one task to the another I could feel I was emotionally coming unraveled. Perhaps it was that those tasks were coming with additional issues that were unresolved at the time and was totally out of my control to resolve them. I don’t consider myself a control freak. However, once focused I do things to completion. I guess when that cannot be done I see that as a bit of a set-back. Meaning, it’s not off my plate and I have to revisit it.
Today, it feels like more then just a major inconvenience. It feels like my whole world in every direction is in a bad place. Or at least my emotional perception sees it in that light.
After unsuccessfully tackling a major task. I say unsuccessfully because after all the energy and time I put into trying to make it occur I was informed it was not the direction I needed to go and to leave things as they were. I saw this as a set-back.
I rushed home to take care of what I deemed to be of urgent importance. A project at work, I had been working on for over a year-and half could have a set-back. I hurried to arrange virtual a meeting with the IT team. The meeting only lasted for ten minutes at the most. This was stressful because I was on a week leave to relax and should not of had to deal with it. For me emailing the team to put things on hold until I returned was not an option.
All the time I was worrying and dealing with the love of my life’s personal issues. A lingering internal disappointment in myself due to the fact that nothing I had said, done or was doing was making any difference in his situation. I was feeling like a failure.
I have been in this emotional crises before. This whirlwind of self-doubt throwing me out of sync. I walked into my house and melted to the floor. Tears running like a faucet, balled into a fetus position with eyes shut to stop the throbbing veins from exploding in my head. Overwhelmed!
My spirit comes to recuse me, to calm me, to show me the way, to walk me through this overwhelmed Me! by DeVine
Life at some point or another will feel like it’s just too much. There are going to be days when you want to run away from it all. There are going to be moments when you want to throw-up your hands and quit. There are going to be times you want to stay in the bed and let the world pass by. I believe this is your spirit saying, “Peace, Be Still!” At these times taking a moment to step back and breath can change your perception and mood. I have found it helpful sometime to just sit still for a while as I listen to nature. Sometime I go for a walk and can see how beautiful the world is. I especially love walking in the rain. There have been times in the middle of the day I relax in a hot tub of bubbles. I believe this is our body telling us to slow it down. For those of you suffering from PICS or PTSD , you may often feel anxious or anxiety. For you, just slow it down a minute, breath and take in some of nature cure.”